Am I not enough for you?

Was the first thing I was asked when I decided I wouldn't keep it a secret: no one in particular was my sole spanker/top/disciplinarian. I  wanted to be spanked every waking moment of my life, I wasn't going to wait for anyone to make themselves available to spank me. I've noticed the polygamy of the spanking scene. I am brazen about seeing multiple spankers. I am aware I am not anyone's only Spankee, yet I sense the territorial attitude from spankers. I could very well ask the same thing: Am I not enough for you? 

This year I've canceled more spankings than I've accepted

Do I dare consider myself a spankaholic? I need to find myself a boyfriend because whenever I want it most no one is available, and when I'm not in the mood suddenly everyone has time. But coming out to a boy, unless I meet him in the scene, will be a process. I'm getting old here. I don't want to wait anymore. I need someone who wants to spank me as much as I crave it.